Election year is here and things have never been stranger. This time around, there doesn't seem to be any middle ground. Everyone seems to either love one and hate the other, or they hate both of them with equal disdain. This is the perfect time to bring out the election year survival kit. The contents of this kit will help you get through the election intact and with a smile on your face. Here are four items your election year survival kit should include.
The Golden Wig
No respectable head should be without the golden wig. You'll be able to show the world that your hair is fake and you don't care who knows. When you proudly wear The Donald's famous locks of luscious hair, you'll feel as proud as a peacock and as genuine as a $3 bill.
The T-Shirt with a Difference
What difference does it make which side you're on this election year? In fact, what difference does anything make? It doesn't and you can proclaim that to the world with your "What difference does it make?" election year T-shirt. The politicians don't care. Show your support by embracing the perfectly political laissez faire attitude of indifference.
If the endless stream of debates left you feeling like you were about to bleed from the ears, you're going to need a good pair of noise reduction headphones in your election year survival kit. Your headphones will allow you to avoid the inconsequential and utterly incoherent rantings that are coming from left and right. Finally, you'll really be able to ignore the elephant in the room – and the donkey.
If you're concerned about the future of this country, and you're thinking of following all of the celebrities who've threatened to leave when the elections are over, you're going to need to have your passport. The lines out of the country are going to be pretty long after the elections – regardless of which party heads to the White House. You can avoid the long wait by having your passport safely tucked away in your survival kit.
If you're not sure you're going to survive this election, you're going to need a survival kit. The list of items provided here will help you get through to November with your dignity – and your sense of humor – intact. Don't forget to individualize your survival kit with other items that you might need to help you get through the next few months.
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